“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.”

Ben Williams

The first time I saw Oscar was around six or seven years ago. The daughter of our former landlady owned him, and occasionally, when she visited, she would bring him along.

I didn’t much care for Oscar at the time. Probably because he always barked at me when I brought the mail, and he wasn’t interested in making friends. It’s not that I disliked him, but I did think he was annoying.

At that time, we had some abandoned, semi-feral kittens living underneath our house. We called them the Three Amigos, with the corresponding names from the movie, Lucky Day, Dusty Bottoms and Ned.

We started feeding them since the mother had left, and they would let us pet them, but they were definitely outside cats.

I had put up barriers so big dogs or other critters couldn’t go in after them.

Of course, that didn’t stop Oscar, who thought it was a great day to make some new friends.

Unfortunately, the kittens didn’t wanna play with Oscar, and he came runnin’ outta there yelping. Apparently, one or more of the Three Amigos decided to sharpen their claws on Oscar’s nose.

I remember laughing at the time, ’cause I thought Oscar might hurt the kittens, who were much smaller than him, at that time.

Well, time marched on, and the three amigos became the Three Amigos, and we still kept feedin’ them, and they thanked us by catching mice and shrews.

Eventually, one by one, they left the area lookin’ for amore or passed on.

We haven’t seen them for more than 4 years.

Not long before the Three Amigos moved on, Our youngest daughter brought home Cammilu, a mixed terrier. Her owners, who are friends of our neighbor Terry, were lookin’ to give her away, and naturally, our youngest daughter promised to look after her. Heh.

I guess you can figure out who got that job.

Once our daughter joined the Army, the question, if there ever was one, became academic.

We also learned that Cammilu had asthma (which she has mostly outgrown) and is allergic to fleas and hornets and bees. Are you kiddin’ me? Fleas? Really? I kid you not.

Fortunately, after tryin’ damn near every stinkin’ product out there (which didn’t work: flea collar my ass!), we found that Frontline Plus would take care of the flea and tick problem. For the stingin’ insects, we got liquid Benedryl.

Cammilu used to bark at nearly every noise coming from outside the house, but now she only barks at every other noise, except for someone knocking on the door. That one makes her ballistic!

She also has an affinity to dominate any dog that is bigger than she is.

I can’t begin to tell you how much fun that has been over the years. And of course, anything that’ll run she will chase. Deer, rabbits, chipmunks…like I said, anything.

Every once in a while she’ll dig and catch a mole, which she quickly dispatches.

She also hates snakes, and will bite any that she sees, as well as shake so furiously their head pops off (okay, I made that up, but it does kill them in short order).

If the snakes are lucky I’ll spot them first and they’ll live to see another day.

Why she hates snakes so much is a mystery, but somethin’ about them sets her off.

A little over three years ago, our landlady sold the property and her house.

Not long before she moved out, in April of ‘05, her daughter stopped by and asked if we coulkd take care of Oscar, ’cause she was movin’ into an apartment that didn’t allow dogs (barbarians!).

Patti immediately said yes, before I could say no. Nice trick, that. We got Oscar’s papers (full name, Oscar Von Spock) ’cause he’s a purebred mini-dascshund, and his tearful owner said goodbye.

Patti promised to take care of Oscar herself. Heh. Yeah…okay. This was sounding familiar.

For about a month or so, Patti did just that. Everytime I got near Patti, Oscar barked and growled at me. Annoying little…

But he was okay when I took him outside for a walk. Oh, did I say when I took him for a walk? How did that become my job?

For a few months he kept goin’ next door lookin’ for his prior owner. I felt sorry for the little guy, but there was no way to explain what had happened.

Eventually, he quit mourning and howling for her. Did I mentioned he howled?

You definitely could feel the sadness when he howled.

In fact, if I or Patti started howlin’, he would join in, but that was more of a pack thing. Nothin’ mournful about. Oscar also liked to howl when he heard coyotes, if he wasn’t barkin’ at them.

Cammilu tried to join in, but her howls were more like yips. She doesn’t see what the big deal is about howlin’, but she tries to play along anyway.

So after a month or so sleepin’ in Patti’s room…you see, I don’t sleep so good sometimes, or not for long at least, although that isn’t always true, and it depends on what you mean by “good” sleep.

I reckon anytime I can go to sleep and wake up not screamin’ in pain is a good sleep. That’s my definition. :^)

Therefore, I sleep in our living room on a hospital bed, and Patti sleeps in what used to be our master bedroom. It’s just easier that way for both of us, although I do miss sleepin’ with my wench.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, Oscar decided, one day, to start sleepin in the living room with me. I don’t know why he started sleepin’ with me, he just did.

At first, I thought it was temporary, but he made a habit out of it, and now he barked and growled at Patti if she came in the room. It wasn’t personal you understand, just business.

I gotta say, for such a small dog, he can really make me us laugh. In the mornin’ (mornin’ bein anytime he has to go…you know…he will jump on my chest and lick my face until I get up.

“C’mon Dad! It’s time to go! Wake up!”

Yeah, sometimes that’s annoying, but most times I laugh because he’s so funny in his enthusiasm to wake me up.

“C’mon! Let’s go for a walk! It’ll be fun!”

“Not now,” I’ll groan, “I wanna sleep. Let’s sleep, that’ll be fun!”

Undaunted by my efforts to convince him otherwise, Oscar uses his secret weapon.

“Ha ha! I’ll lick your ears! That always works!”

“Ahhh! Okay okay! I’m up! Aaah! Mad dog! It’s the mad dog! Help me! Help me!”

A few minutes later…

“Is Cammilu comin’? Huh? Are we takin’ Cammilu with us?”

“We almost always take Cammilu with us. Of course she’s comin’,” I say, groggily, as Oscar sniff’s her…

“Yay! Cammilu! Hi Cammilu! What’s up? We’re gon outside! Wanna come?”

“Hey, hey! Knock it off! That gets annoying after the first two seconds! I’m warnin’ you!” Cammi growls.

“Ben? Are you takin’ the dogs out?” Patti calls out. “Cammilu has to go.”

“Yes dear, I am,” just like I do everytime I get up, I don’t say.

Outside Cammi sprints off with Oscar close behind her. They both “read” the territory like a book, to see what kind of critters and varmints been in the area lately.

“Hey, Cammilu! Look! G G was here earlier!” Oscar exclaimed, smellin’ the ground.

“Dee dee! Her name is Dee dee, not G G! That bitch!” Cammilu growled, peeing on G G’s…I mean Dee Dee’s pee.

Dee dee is our neighbor’s chocolate lab. He says she’s fixed, but Oscar knows better.

“I’m pretty sure it’s G G. Isn’t she hot? Of course, I hafta pee here too, just to let her know I was here. She keeps comin’ back you know. I think she likes me!”

“That bitch better stay away if she knows what’s good for her!” Cammi growled, again.

“Cool! A dead mouse! Wow! I can’t believe my luck!” Oscar says, rolling on the dead mouse. “Look Cammilu! A dead mouse! Don’t it smell great?”

“Oscar! No! Don’t roll on that!”

“Geez, don’t get so uptight Dad! What are you doin’? That’s a perfectly good dead mouse! You really oughta try it sometime.”

“Cammi, no! Leave the snake alone! Damnit! Give me that!”

“I hate snakes! I hate ‘em! Kill! Kill!” Grrr’red Cammilu.

“Chill out Cammilu! You’re startin’ to freak me out, girl! Damn! I don’t see what you get outta those things. Oh man! This is cool! Now we’re talkin’! Yum!”

“Oscar! What do you got, boy? Is that a bone? Give it here! No! You can’t have this bone, it’s bad for you! Open your mouth!”

“Get your own bone! This one’s mine! Haven’t you ever heard of finders keepers?”

“Op…en…your…mouth! C’mon!” I said, tryin’ to pry Oscar’s mouth open.

“Honey? Ben?” Patti calls from the bedroom window. “Don’t let Cammilu dig for moles, it rained last night!”

“Cammilu, no!” I shout, turning to see Cammilu diggin’ for a mole, her paws caked with mud.

Before I can get there…

“Oh boy! Moles! Good idea, Cammilu!”

“Oscar, no! Damnit!”

Funny, how dogs get nicknames, on top of their regular names.

Cammilu is Cammi, Lu, Luella, Lalula, Lalu and Lulu.

Oscar is Oscar Bean, Moe, Little Man, Little Guy, and Old Man.

Patti and I both have come up with various nicknames and those are the one’s that stuck.

Now, one of Oscar’s favorite things, besides eating and goin’ for a walk, and rollin’ on dead mice, and sniffin’ Beaky’s feathers, and gettin’ his belly rubbed, is to go “bye-bye.”

If he don’t get to go he howls until I get home.

Cammilu loves to go bye-bye too, but she gets carsick…every single time…so she don’t get to go bye-bye unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Bye-bye, to Oscar, is like goin’ to Disneyland for a little kid. Doesn’t matter if I’m just goin’ to the store and back or even if Patti is drivin’.

Okay, that didn’t come out the way I meant it. I mean, it doesn’t matter who is drivin’. I’m not sayin’ anything is wrong with Patti’s drivin’. Nope. Nothin’ like that at all.

Oscar loves bye-bye so much, he has learned to detect whenever I’m about to go anywhere. If I put my watch on, or grab the cell phone, and my hat, or if I’m makin’ a list.

Nothin’ escapes his watchful eyes. Nothin’.

And if he can’t go, he will literally try to stop me from puttin’ my shoes on.

He’ll jump at my legs.

“Take me, Dad! Take me! Oh please, oh please take me! Can I go? Can I? Can I? Huh? C’mon! You know you wanna! It’ll be fun!”

He just bubbles over with pure joy. A love of life I would do well to emulate.

Obviously, I couldn’t take him with me every time I went somewhere, for various reasons, but he doesn’t understand that, so he’ll stop at nothin’ in his attempts to take him along.

Nothin’.

Now…well, now…Oscar is goin’ bye-bye…and I…can’t go with him. Not where he’s goin’…not yet.

Goodbye Little Man. Godspeed, my loyal friend. You loved me at my worst, and I’ll miss you, but I know you’ll be waitin’ for me…

Rainy Day In June- Alan Jackson (slightly altered)

I need some sunshine, on my face,

To help me dry my eyes,

I need a blue sky, over here,

So I can clear my mind,

Maybe your dog breath, on my back,

To make me feel at ease,

Anything more than, what I’ve got,

On this rainy day in June

It’s a rainy day in June

The sky is grey, and I am blue

Tryin’ to make it without you

On this rainy day in June

The thunder rolls, the lightning flashes,

Every thought began with you,

I see your face, in every clouded paths,

On this rainy day in June

It’s a rainy day in June,

The sky is grey, and I am blue,

Tryin’ to make it without you,

On this rainy day in June

“My grief lies all within,

And these external manners of lament

Are merely shadows to the unseen grief

That swells with silence in the tortured soul.”

William Shakespeare

“[Pain] removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of a rebel soul.”

C.S. Lewis

The very nature of Joy makes nonsense of our common distinction between having and wanting.”

–Surprised by Joy

“All joy…emphasizes our pilgrim status; always reminds, beckons, awakens desire. Our best havings are wantings.”

–from an unknown letter

“Joy is the serious business of Heaven.”

C.S. Lewis

“And now the beasts of the field, they shall teach thee, and the fowls of the air, they shall tell thee.”—Job 12:7

“For the soul of every living thing is in the hand of God.”

Job 12:10

“I have treated many cases of psychological trauma, and one thing that is common to all of them is that the traumatized individual is, to a certain extent, not out of touch with reality, but more in contact with it…But you just can’t think about it, or you wouldn’t be able to function. So you eventually go back into denial — back to “normality.”

Gagdad Bob aka Dear Leader

“Human suffering might still be a mystery, as is God’s will, but they are no longer “meaningless”.

In other words, the spiritual vulnerability that opens one to painful awareness of the earth’s fallen nature can also open one to the greatest of spiritual resources, awareness of divine reality. I think only through such higher awareness can one really come to make peace with the fallen nature of the world.”

Will

My friends, I gotta diejest this heartbreaking pain…this…Infinite Silence, full of pain and grief.

Shakespeare accurately describes what I feel right now.

Bob once mentioned that Joseph Coors was a big help. This is a different situation, sort of, but for now, that’s all I can due. Grog time. Oscar wouldn’t want me to be all sad n’ stuff for any extended period.

I reckon it’s my own selfishness and attachment to the Little Guy that causes…

O screw this analyzing crap! When you hurt this bad it’s all you can do to hang on. Plenty of time to analyze later.

In any sense I gno precisely what’s wrong already…so shut! Up! Ben!

Stand fast! Shed yer tears, grieve, drink in Oscars honor…

Buck up! Grin n’ bare it!

“The name’s Francis Sawyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I’ll kill you.”

Leon: “Ooooooh.”

Psycho: “You just made the list, buddy. Also, I don’t like no one touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I’ll kill you. And I don’t like nobody touching me. Any of you HOMOS touch me, and I’ll kill you.”

Sergeant Hulka: (Chuckling) “Lighten up, Francis.”

Oscar liked that flick. He also liked:

Big Trouble In Little China.

Jack Burton: “Like I told my last wife, I says, “Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it’s all in the reflexes.”

Jack Burton: “Well, ya see, I’m not saying that I’ve been everywhere and I’ve done everything, but I do know it’s a pretty amazing planet we live on here, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we’re alone in THIS universe.”

——————————————————————————–

Jack Burton: “Everybody relax, I’m here.”

Jack Burton: “This is gonna take crackerjack timing, Wang.”

Jack Burton: “Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we’re not back by dawn… call the president.”

——————————————————————————–

Wang Chi: “Here’s to the Army and Navy and the battles they have won; here’s to America’s colors, the colors that never run.”

Jack Burton: “May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.”

Ha ha! That movie always cracked Oscar up!!! :^)

Live Life with Joy, damnit! That’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I’m raisin’ my glass to you, Oscar!!! Mind your manners now, and thanks…thanks for the Joy you brought me!!!

I’ve been bloggin’ this all night. Couldn’t sleep. I just held Oscar and petted him all night. Helped him go pee outside. He’s so weak he could barely stand.

Lots of blood in his watery stools. He can’t eat much and he just keeps throwin’ it up.

We just don’t have the funds to find out what’s wrong. But that doesn’t matter now. He has lost way too much weight. He’s too weak. Skin and bones. That’s why I haven’t been around much. We tried everything we could, but nothin’ worked.

Even now he still tries to wag his tail when I pet him. Still tries to lick Dad’s face to tell me it’s Okay.

“Dad..I’m sooo tired and I hurt. I love you Dad…”

“I love you too, Little Guy. My ittle Man…I love you too.”

Soon, I’ll drive him to the vet, after Patti gets a chance to say goodbye.

This has hit her hardest…I wish I could take her pain. I love her so, and I hate to see her so heartbroken.

I gno how she feels, but I gotta keep it together, at least until Oscar takes his final journey. Then I can let more than silent tears flow.

Then he will be free again, no more burdened by a sick and painful body!

Free to have fun and entertain God…until I join him! :^)