Please forgive my late response, my friends. This week has been one of little sleep and a lot of psychic pain.

Patti has no problem with me explaining the challenge she faces, but still, I’m reluctant to speak beyond generalities. Mostly because, this is her story.

I’m merely a part of her story. So, in that context, I’ll try to do justice to my wife’s story as I see it.

Many of you might recall some commewnts I made several months ago at One Cosmos concerning Patti.

She suffers from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). This is due to a childhood filled with betrayal and a pain few can imagine.

A childhood where she was molested, repeatedly by her step-father.

At the young age of 14 she ran away from home. Unfortunately, after a time, it got worse for Patti.

She was sold into a sex slavery ring, by some evil bikers.

Again, I won’t go into great detail, but to say this was traumatic is an understatement.

Thank God, Patti escaped, for these men intended to murder her. The fact that she did escape, barefoot, through the desert, is nothing short of miraculous.

After a short and abusive marriage, Patti moved to San Diego, where she met me.

I have many stories of our early encounter, and throughout our marriage, but the story of our initial meeting is in the archives.

Fast foreward to around five years ago. Both of our daughters are grown up and leave home.

And within a few years of leaving home, disaster strikes. The PTSD reveals itself.

Perhaps it’s the trauma of our children leaving the nest. That is always hardest on Mom’s.

Add to that, the Elizabeth Smart case, and full-fledged trauma is revealed.

At first, a deep depression set in. But soon afterwards, the signs of that trauma became physically evident.

Patti began to cut. Small cuts at first.

Cutting didn’t mean she was suicidal, because having been a former paramedic, Patti knows precisely how to commit suicide.

No, cutting was a way to obtain a release. A way to “cry.”

I know that doesn’t make much sense, if any, but it does to a cutter. It also was a way to relieve the immense psychic pain Patti was experiencing.

Anyway, it got worse, and what followed was a long series of ER visits, and a quest to find a good psychiatrist/psychologist. Much easier said than done.

Most were ineffective moonbats at best, some of which were harmful.

Patti found a Colonel who was very good, but after awhile, he was transferred to Afghanistan.

Once again, the search was on.

Eventually, years later, Patti fouind a psychiatrist here in town that she could relate to. He seemed to help her a great deal, and, over the last year, Patti hasn’t cut at all.

Unfortunately, the doctor could no longer accept Tricare (military insurance), which works much the same way as medicare/medicaid.

It only paid about 25% of his normal fees, and only then if the paperwork was filled out to some bureaurats satisfaction, which was always unreliable.

Weekly visits were cut to monthly visits and the co-pay was raised to twentyfive bucks per visit, not counting the co-pay of the meds.

For a few months, Patti thought she was okay with that, but eventually that old trauma resurfaced.

Maybe it was the stress of the recent flood, or maybe the trauma runs deeper than Patti can detect on her own. Maybe it’s both. Either way, something had to give.

Last Monday, after my appointment at the VA, Patti asked to go to the ER when we neared Chehalis, and I took her.

Wednesday, unbeknownst to me, Patti went by herself, after cutting. This is when I wrote my last post, not knowing where she was for a time.

And Thursday, I took her as well.

She has absolutely no recollection of her first two ER visits last week, which really bothers her a lot.

Next week Patti is scheduled to see some new doctors, and I hope…and pray they are effective and not of the proffesional victim advocate variety.

That’s as specific as I could bring myself to be, my friends. There’s much more, of course, but that may give you an idea of the hell Patti has endured. Mine is nothin’ compared to that!

I will try to answer all of your uplifting and thoughtful comments soon. Thank you so much for your prayers and for the insightful wisdom you have freely given us!

God bless you all! :^)